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An Open Letter to Medievalist Princesses.

What on earth would Dyan Elliot think?
Do you have any idea who she is?

I was not even sure people like you existed until I was unfortunately confronted with one of your kind the other night. As a defecting medievalist, or a recovering medievalist, whichever you prefer, I have often contemplated why on earth someone gets into the medieval business at all. I say this because even medievalists realize the ridiculous nature of pursuing a time period that no one respects. And I say this because when I have informed all my medieval professors, they have all lunged across their desks, nearly grabbing my arms in a physical representation of the internal desire to keep the already miniscule community from shrinking any further. But it should seem strange to me that you should be accepted into this carefully screened community in which women seem to fall under two camps: militant feminists who fervently believe it is their duty to point out the egregiousness of medieval misogyny and hurtle insults at the entire millenia, as if this did any good at all, holding it accountable for our troubles to this very day. And then there are those women who sheepishly cough, rubbing and hugging their arms, trying to salvage the time period or even reclaim it by searching for those glimpses into a hidden reality in which women did have some place other than religious or royal servants. This reality, however, is purely argumentative. But the real point of this letter is you. Where on earth do you fit? How have you not been chewed out by some witch holding tenure? I have been chewed out by one such individual for repeating what another medievalist has said.... and you are free to frolic unscathed.

I can understand why some may allow you to continue this fantasy. This response feels similar to those wide-eyed reactions I recieve when I admit I am defecting. There is a need to preserve a dying community it seems and any motivation is good motivation in their eyes. To be honest, I did not even know people like you existed. Of course, I posited that some people read Arthurian legends or watched the Princess Bride a few too many times and decided to go find more. You watched Cinderella alongside the royal wedding, planning your wedding gown along with your assassination of Kate Middleton. It's all very perfect really, at the stroke of midnight, she slips and slices her throat on some broken glass slipper and you are there to nurse the handsome, young, balding prince through this difficult time. Really now, was this your preparation for a position at a prestigious institution? You live in a fantasy world. I cannot say you give medievalist women a bad name because I was only aware that you existed beyond my imagination nigh 48 hours ago but now that I am aware of your existence I have no choice but to reprimand you for giving medievalist women a bad name. You will go on to write romance novels in the guise of historical fiction and send it off as literature and the some girl in my former high school might be forced to read your rubbish and take it as truth. You will inherit the world Anya Seton has left for you in her legacy and run with it.

And why should I bemoan this? The Middle Ages hardly get a spotlight and women of the Middle Ages even less, lest you are of extorting some medieval celebrity like Elenore of Aquitaine or Hildegard von Bingen. Any press is good press, no? But perhaps this is what I mean. You will undoubtedly get more attention and pervade an image that so many medievalists had been fighting against. I imagine you are just a victim of the Disney affect and that you will have you dream wedding at the Polynesian Resort and Spa in Orlando, Florida or you will ask your father for a rhinestone encrusted pumpkin carriage to pull up to the parking lot of your local catering venue but that you demand to be taken seriously with your Bachelor of Arts in Medieval and Renaissance studies is what I cannot seem to abide.

Leave this to the women with PhD's in kicking some real medieval ass, please.